52 Weeks, 52 Changes: Keep a shell in my pocket and a little sand in my shoes.

“Some seek solitude to escape the world’s foulness or pollution, or to avoid the discomfort of relating to others. But for the Christian, the reason to pursue quiet aloneness is different. Christianity is a secret companionship. It is the only relationship in which I can be fully understood without speaking a word. My spirit communes with God even in total silence. Prayer is His provision for a degree of solitude even when I can’t get away from it all. When my heart expresses itself to God, we are alone even in a crowd.”
–Finding Focus in a Whirlwind World, Jean Fleming

Hello, dear old friend.
Being near you restores me.
I don’t want to go.

One last sunrise walk. It pains me that I have to leave this place in less than an hour. But, it is time. It seems to get harder to say goodbye to the solitude I find here.

God, in his goodness, saw fit to give Rob and I a little respite this weekend. I’ve savored each and every little moment. I love the beach in fall because the intense heat is gone. It is warm enough during the day to bask, but cool enough in the evening to dawn a sweatshirt and wade.

The ocean greeted me with this message:

The ocean allows me to be quiet. For someone who talks for a living (or vocation, I should say), it is so good to just be.

Rob left early Monday morning, leaving me with about 36 hours to work on my book project. What an incredible difference it makes to be “away” from the norm.

Jean Fleming shares, “Time alone with the Lord cleanses the mind. Focusing on God helps us view this present, illusory world with perspective by setting it in eternity, and enables us to evaluate our current direction, desires, and plans. A Godward gaze often exposes error or shame in our life.”

J. Oswald Sanders was a little more blunt, “We know God as well as we choose to. Arrange your life to accommodate Him.”

This has been a time to cleanse my mind. A much-needed space to listen for direction. God assured me of one thing: He knows the plans He has for me and they are good plans with a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11-13). So, I leave resting in that assurance.

Now, I leave my old friend, but am going to keep a shell in my pocket and a little sand in my shoes, just to remind me of this special time.

May the words of Henri Nouwen be an ocean breeze to you today. He writes, “Precisely because our secular milieu offers us so few spiritual disciplines, we have to develop our own. We have, indeed, to fashion our own desert where we can withdraw every day, shake off our compulsions, and dwell in the gentle healing presence of the Lord.”

So, in your hectic day, here’s a drink of the ocean’s love.

52 Weeks, 52 Changes: Finish Unfinished Business.

“Two things rob people of their peace of mind:
work unfinished and work yet begun.”

“Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished?
Yes, work never begun.”
-Poet Christina G. Rosetti

I love God. Plain, simple, life-changing truth. He speaks right when you need him to. All week I’ve wrestled with “things.” I’ve written about a few of them, but some are more private. My bouts of depression being one. But, I’ve pressed on, getting up each and every morning looking to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith. Most of all, I’ve been resting and leaning into the Lord in hopes of hearing His voice. During this time, I’ve been on a mission to clean my office in order to prepare space for both writing and counseling. Financially strapped right now, I can’t buy anything “new” so I’m working with what I have.

“First thing you need to do,” says my kitchen-designing, space-designing-expert husband, Rob, “is clean out all the clutter. Then, we’ll talk.”

Ugh. I hate it when he tells me to clean (smile). If I had my way and all the money in the world (well, at least a little money), I’d hire an interior designer or even HGTV to come in and create the perfect writing space. In my head, I think that will make a difference.

The truth of the matter, as powerfully expressed by Bible teacher extraordinaire, Beth Moore, “Maybe, just maybe, in order to fulfill our calling, we must be willing to start and finish a project. What if it required self-discipline?” She continues, “The best books might never be written because someone didn’t take the time and exercise the necessary self-discipline to stop doing 1,000 things and do one thing.”

Ouch. Double ouch. Rob and Beth are both spot on: I need to clean out my clutter, both physically and emotionally.

Finish some unfinished business. In her new DVD teaching, “Fulfill Your Ministry,” Beth reads from Acts 20:22-24, noting Paul’s heart in verse 24, “My life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus–the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.” There it is: finishing the work assigned by God.

Boy, did I need to hear that in this season of my life. I think I am called to be a writer, speaker/teacher, and counselor. These three gifts seem to rise to the forefront of all my relationships and work. I should be certain, but remember I said I was working through some things. At this juncture, this crossroads, this particular moment on my life’s journey, I’m asking God for clarity.

While cleaning, I found mounds, yes, mounds, of unfinished writing projects.

Are they any good? Well, I will never know unless I finish them and send them to my literary agent. Until I edit, reedit and edit some more in order to package them and put them on my website. Until I teach them to others and see. So, filled with new enthusiasm, humble dependence on God, and a willingness to try, yet again, I am going to finish some unfinished business (or book projects and Bible Studies).

How about you? Is there any unfinished business that needs finishing in your life? Even your heart? Will you join me in making that change? If you do, please let me know! It might require some discomfort, but do it anyway. The reward will be a renewed sense of order and possibly even finished projects!

52 Weeks, 52 Changes: Stop Asking So Many Questions, Part II

As promised, Part II of “Stop Asking So Many Questions.”

Psalm 119:130, “The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.”

In my 52 Weeks, 52 Changes Quest, I am making a very significant change: Stop Asking So Many Questions. As I share in this vlog, questions are good. One huge sign of growth is to ask questions.
But sometimes, we ask too many questions. Sometimes, they get in the way of God’s movement. Sometimes, He wants us to shut up (excuse my language) and be still (Psalm 46:10). Sometimes, we
need to let the answers unfold. Author Albert Haase says it this way:

“God knocks on the door of the sacred moment as it unfolds before us.
Unfortunately, we are often unaware of that knock until we look back
and reflect on an experience in hindsight. God’s knock can be as
soft as an intuition or a gut feeling;
it can be as loud as a need to which only we can respond.
Sometimes that knock surprises even the most spiritually attuned among us.”

Today, our fresh word comes from James 3:13-18 (NLT). Jam-packed with spiritual truths, these scriptures brought me to a new awareness: Many of my questions are selfish in nature. They involve selfish ambition.

So, in light of this, I have been examining myself a little in order to grow and mature in Christ.

Is God asking you to stop asking so many questions? To “be still and know that HE is God?” Share your thoughts with us so we can all grow!

52 Weeks, 52 Changes: Just Eight Minutes a Day

Ok, if you know me, life is one big devotional opportunity.
It can be annoying, ask my children or my husband. They will concur.
But, last week, amid preparations for speaking at a dear friend’s funeral (stay tuned),
I took one of my long prayer walks.
Oh how I love to walk and talk (watch it…be nice!) to God.

There it was. Right in the middle of the road.
A figure-8 shaped out of “gum?” I think it was gum.
Who on earth does that? Well, don’t judge me, I believe God did.
Yes, God and I have a very
unique way of talking to one another.
You see, I’ve been struggling lately.
Maybe you can relate. According to The Barna Research Group, I am not alone.
In their 2011 State of the Church Address,
“Bible reading has plummeted by 10 percentage points,
declining from half of all women reading the Bible during a typical week
(excluding that done during church events)
to just four out of ten doing so today (40%).”

Stunned by this alarming statistic, I started examining my own personal Bible Study.
Not Bible Study in order to prepare for my next teaching engagement
or speaking event. Not Bible Study for a book project.
No, Bible Study for me.
Somewhere in my crazy little life, I had lost my daily reading practice.

So, when this little “figure-8” sign-from-God popped out of nowhere,
I heard that ever familiar little whisper,
“Janell, can you give me 8 minutes of your morning?”

A few steps later, “Wham!” There it was.
The second (read Matthew 18:16) sign from my God.

I promise you! I can’t make these things up.
I stood there and laughed.
Okay, eight minutes of my morning, God, you got it!

So, now, I have put one Bible on my bedside table
and one in my office, next to my cozy new loveseat.
It has made all the difference. I’m reading through John, again,
with highlighter and journal right next to me, because
it is jam packed with fresh words for my life.
I’ll share them soon.

How is your daily Bible reading going?
Are you like me (the 60%) or the 40%?
I’ve been both and know for a fact that
daily Bible reading is the absolute key to my life.

52 Weeks, 52 Changes: Take the step and put it away.

“Facing the truth about ourselves is a threatening and tough assignment.
It’s far easier to live in denial and just go with life as it is.
But the first step to knowing which path of life to take is to
look honestly at ourselves and at what brought us to where we are.
This kind of truth sets the stage for us to be set free–free to know
God’s peace deep in our souls, free to mature into all that God wants for us,
free to embrace all life holds for us, and
free to love and be loved again.”
–Dr. Tim Clinton & Dr. Gary Sibcy, “Why You Do the Things You Do”

Short and simple word today: Take the step(s) and put it (them) away.
Scripture Reading: Colossians 3:8-9 (NLV)
Note: “But now is the time to get rid of….”

For several months now, a little voice keeps whispering in my spirit,
Janell, take the necessary steps, go ahead, right now, and put it away.

As I would look at something on a counter,
or on the living room table, or in my office,
or on my bedroom dresser (which is the catch all), I’d here that voice.
Focus. Put it away. What is it? A couple extra steps.
Pick up the pants, get a hanger, put it in the closet.

It’s a tiny practice that brings HUGE results.
The decrease of physical clutter somehow decreases the mental clutter.

So, today’s CHANGE is simply to “put it away.”
Taking it one step further (no pun intended), I believe wholeheartedly
that this speaks to our spiritual & emotional lives as well.
What do you need to “take one step and put it away” on these two levels?
For me, it was the pain of a broken relationship. I’ve been subconsciously
holding on to deep shame & regret. But, by God’s grace, yesterday he made
me hit it head on. He said, “Take one step and put it away.”
Close the book on that. It is under my blood.
So, I did just that. I took one step to my prayer closet, which was
my beautiful backyard retreat, and put it away–right into Jesus’s hands.

Oh, what a feeling.
Let me encourage you today to do the same.
The Holy Spirit will guide you. That’s what he does.
Let him.

Freedom is waiting on the other side.

52 Weeks, 52 Changes: The Vow. The Moment. The Future.

“Everyone here has the sense that right now is one of those moments when we are influencing the future.”
-Steve Jobs

With a million and one things to accomplish before Graduation Day 2012,
my heart had one prayer: “God, give me one moment where I know this has all been YOUR idea.” After putting in so many hours, writing my heart out,
and seemingly failing at test-taking (something I’ve never been good at),
examining personal strengths and weaknesses, listening to so many lying voices (in my head), and trying desperately to make my way through
a maze of conflicting desires and dreams, I wanted a moment of clarity. It came. In a stadium filled with over thirty thousand people,
gathered to celebrate their graduates, President Falwell led the graduates in the recitation of “The Pledge of the Graduate,” which states:

“As a member of the graduating class, and in the presence of those assembled witnesses and God, I express my gratitude to Liberty University
and promise to hold my degree so no loss will come to it.

I pledge to seek earnestly and faithfully to perpetuate this opportunity for other generations of young people, that our Lord’s work may never
lack for leaders of character and ability.

With whatever wisdom I possess and with reverence for the truth, I pledge the best of my life and loyalty to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, to my country and to my alma mater. I affirm my determination to justify, through my own life and deeds, my inheritance from the past and to do all that I can to advance the cause of Jesus Christ.”

There it was. Forgoing “walking” because my sweet Brooke was graduating and I wanted first and foremost to be Mom. I couldn’t have been happier. After enduring so much with Brooke through the years, this was her moment, most of all. A college graduate. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.

Except for the few minutes it took to stand and recite this pledge. Most of the graduates that day have their whole life in front of them. I have only half, if I am blessed with 50 more years. Somehow, age offers insights not given to the young.

With great sobriety and longing, I recited those words and vowed silently to use the remaining years of my life to advance the cause of God. I have absolutely no idea what or how or where that will be, but I know that Jesus knows. So many have asked, “What are you going to do with your degree? your studies?” I simply replied, “Time will tell.” Having decided to forgo licensure (due to time, money, and calling), I know one thing: I want to help women find freedom in Christ. IF I could do anything, I would travel the world, speak God’s Word anywhere and everywhere, and talk to women. Be a voice for the voiceless.

Do you need a moment? A moment to make a pledge to YOUR God about your future?

Somehow, standing in that stadium filled with God’s people from all over the world, made me smell heaven. As the Sounds of Liberty led us in worship, one by one, people stood. Lifted their hands. Raised their voices. The stadium swelled with the atmosphere of heaven. Oh, I can’t even begin to express the scene. It was a foreshadowing of eternity and quite honestly, I can’t wait.

When we finally stand before Jesus, our Lord and Savior, the One who gives us our gifts and talents, will HE say, “Well done, good and faithful servant”? In that sobering moment, two weeks ago, I felt a resurgence of empowering and a strong desire to hear him say those words to me.

In the end, no other voice will matter.

Lenten Study: Holy Saturday, An Invitation to Learn

Here we are, Holy Saturday. Historically known as “Easter Eve” or “Black Saturday,” this day is commemorated as the day Jesus’s body was laid in the tomb.

Thank you for joining me on this Lenten pilgrimage of deliberate, intentional introspection. Honestly, I am sincerely grateful for the past 40 days, as they have shown me things about myself that needed some attention. The reading from “IF” by Amy Carmichael have been sorely tested in all of my relationships. Part of me is glad to put it down for awhile, because my ego is sore and my heart weary. It has been no coincidence that the final course in my Masters work has also been dealing with relationship issues. Today, as I prepared for a quiz and paper, I read a beautiful challenge on forgiveness:

“Forgiveness is the glue that holds commitment together.
Without forgiveness, commitment will unravel and
the marriage [let’s add any relationship]
will come apart. Confession helps promote forgiveness.
Both are difficult.
Confession and forgiveness are rarely acts
people can accomplish under their own power.
If people bring their inadequacies to God
and rely on his working in their lives,
confession and forgiveness become roads to
apprehend more of his grace and mercy.
When partners feel inadequate to forgive
or to confess their wrongdoing, that can be
an invitation for them to learn to know better
the prompter of confession and the author of forgiveness.”
-Worthington, Hope-Focused Marriage Counseling

The Lenten Pilgrimage invites us to an understanding of our inadequacies, doesn’t it? As we are sobered by the words and works of Jesus, we can’t help but become penitent. Yet, we know the whole story. He died, yes, a gruesome death on our behalf. But, he didn’t stay in the tomb. No, he rose from the dead so we could experience abundance and eternity. May today be a holy day in the sense that we actually “await in silence the resurrection.” Reflect, perhaps, on the “rhythm of the relationships” in our lives. I know for a fact that I harbor unforgiveness towards several. God invites me to recognize the inadequacy of my own ability to forgive and accept his enabling to do so. I cry out to God that “confession and forgiveness become roads to apprehend more of his grace and mercy.”

So as we bid adieu to one another and leave our Lenten pilgrimage:

May our hearts be enlarged.
May they beat in the rhythm of grace.
May they race with anticipation
and leap with resurrection power.
To God be the glory, great things he has done.

Holy Week: Feeling means nothing. Faith means everything.

Colton Dixon, one of the new American Idol contestants, sang this song on the show last week. I was moved. Quickly, I downloaded it on ITunes and
today I found him actually singing it at his home church (I’m guessing) where he must be a worship leader. Not sure, only surmising. I printed out the lyrics
and have listened over and over again. One line sings louder than all: How can I stand here and not be moved by You.

It’s Holy Week. We’ve spent that last 30+ days on an intentional, deliberate pilgrimage towards the aria of Resurrection Sunday. It’s been penitent, hasn’t it?
The sobering words of Amy Carmichael have been a daily wearing of ashes leading me to reflect on my current spiritual state. If I am honest, I haven’t enjoyed it.
I like good times. Celebrations. Fun and games. C’mon, who likes to look in the mirror of God’s face in order to deal with the ugly sin of Self, who beckons daily to
walk away from God. What does God matter in your life, anyway? Your hurting and it isn’t getting better. All that prayer, heh. Give it up. He’s a visage. A high-in-the-sky kind of guy.

Today, Amy writes:

“If I crave hungrily to be used to show
the way of liberty to a soul in bondage,
instead of caring only that it be delivered;
If I nurse my disappointment when I fail,
instead of asking that to another the
word of release may be given,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.”

Oh, the sting of reproof. I am so guilty of
nursing my disappointments
and craving the show.
Yet, I know that I know the Truth.
Feeling means nothing.
Faith means everything.
When I fall, and sometimes its several times a day,
I fall at the feet of Jesus.
And, there, on my face, I find hope.
Jesus is my everything.
I will wear the ashes because He wore the thorny crown of MY sin.

What ashes do you need to wear today? It’s Holy Week.
May every step we take this week lead us to the Cross at Calvary, where we will find everything we need.

Weekend Lenten Study: Remember who(se) you are.

Having eyes to see on my afternoon walk.

“If the praise of man elates me and blames depresses me;
if I cannot rest under misunderstanding
without defending myself;
if I love to be loved more than to love,
to be served more than to serve,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.”
If by Amy Carmichael

During my morning of graduate homework,
I came across a beautiful translation of Psalm 139:13-18 (from my new
Mosaic Bible that I am falling in love with). I pray it whispers renewal into your
sense of self, like the illustration on my doctor’s wall yesterday morning and
the winds of my afternoon walk blew renewal over my body:

While waiting in the doctor's office yesterday, I snapped this illustration as a reminder of Psalm 139. God knows every miniscule fiber of my being and still loves me.

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me.”

It is critical that we remember who(se) we are.

Reading Psalm 139:15-18 and remembering there is a real GOD who knows me. Wow.

Come, Holy Spirit, and breathe renewal and rest
into the innermost parts of our being.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Fresh Word for a Fresh Start/Lenten Study: Time 2 Disentangle.

Ok, here I go. Lenten intentionality & deliberateness. Inspired by Literary Agent, Rachelle Gardner, I’ve created a LENTEN HAIKU:

Lent strips the self bare
A slow steady pace forward
Fresh starts and clean slates

After a very arduous, relationship-challenging, work-laden, and emotionally draining four days, I woke up yesterday morning before dawn. Primarily because my husband had to be at work very early. Usually, his rustling and bustling, lights on, etc. doesn’t bother me. It’s payback really (smile), because I go to bed late. Not terribly late, but later than he does. So I rustle and bustle and turn the bathroom light on while he is trying to go to sleep. It evens out, in a weird “twenty-seven years of marriage” way. Grace makes it work. So, when I couldn’t go back to sleep, I decided, “Get up, woman. Go for that morning walk with Jesus you so desperately need.”

I am so glad I listened to that angel sitting on my shoulder. A morning walk with Jesus was exactly what this weary woman needed:

Listening to the lyrical arias of the morning songbirds. Ahhhhh.

Stopping to bask in the rays of a rising sun. Ahhhh.

Tuning in to the silence. Ahhhh.

Leaning towards heaven, hoping for a whisper. Ahhhh.

Untying and disentangling from voices that drain. Ahhhh.

Embracing the lessons of the dawn. Ahhhh.

And then, one vital lesson unfolded right before my eyes.

How can something so lovely emit such an unlovely fragrance?

As I walked through the snow shower of surrounding trees, there it was. That very unlovely fragrance. How on earth can something so stunning, so lovely, and so radiant, emit such an unlovely fragrance? Immediately, I stopped. There was the whisper:

Isn’t this a mere reflection of ourselves?
Adorned to be lovely, on the outside,
yet often emitting the unlovely on the inside?

Quickly, I was re-minded of 2 Corinthians 2:14-15 (NLT), which reads, “Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those who are being saved and by those who are perishing.” This spoke directly to several confrontations I had encountered earlier in the week. My life definitely was a stench to several individuals this week. I could go on and on, but the bottom line is this: Am I paying attention to my inner life? Making sure my attitude and character is grounded in the grace of God? Do I cast judgment easily and without blinking? Am I really walking in the way Jesus would have me walk?

Now, I know I can’t please everyone. No matter what, I will be a stench to some. I’m not responsible for that. Yet, I am responsible for maintaining the inner life. Making sure I spend time with the Master who will correct and shape me into His image. Dull my sharp tongue. Check me when I want to judge. Grace me to hold my tongue. Empower me to love the unlovely.

As I read from Amy Carmichael’s, “I Come Quietly to Meet You: An Intimate Journey in God’s Presence” (edited by David Hazard), drink in her words:

Quiet time. The term is vital, descriptive of the very
manner in which we receive an in-flooding
of the Lord’s life….To those entangled in the ways I have described, there will always
come a need to exercise the special energy that comes from a life lived in
close union with the Lord. It may be a trial, from which our flesh shrinks
in dismay. We may sense a coming conflict-the air itself,
thick with good and evil forces,
wrestling, and the evil so terribly strong. And yet we feel bound by invisible cords,
and we ask, ‘Why do I feel so weighted down, so hindered?’
In such a moment, we may call upon the God of fire to burn our bonds
and set us free to fight the fight, to make us strong to stand, peaceful and strong,
in heavenly place with Christ Jesus.”

Ahhh. Powerful words for our deliberate, intentional Lenten walk towards the aria of Easter. This is longer, I know, than usual, but I felt so necessary. I wanted this Lenten season to make a real difference in my Christian walk. I pray it has helped you. After listening to today’s FRESH WORD VLOG, take a few moments to create your own LENTEN HAIKU (5 syllable, 7 syllables, 5 syllables). Will you share it with us? Let us all drink in the nectar of God’s whispers.